she

I once believed that she was a figment
In my imagination that painted onto a canvas
My emotions
I once believed she was this abstract swirl of fire
That lit my soul of sensation
I once believed she was the sun of the many suns
Around that never left me alone
I once believe in belief
Belief of the small things that made more
Of a concrete memory

I believed in she
She who took years of dedication and made it
Her future
She who bleed tears from broken pieces of a mended heart
So strive for a love that meant so much more
She who smiles under heavens night light
Emerging from the deepest forms of hope just for me
To be happy
She who took this razor bladed tongue
And slowly sharpened it
Slowly saved it
She who out of the brightest days and the bleeding
Nights…took my hand and reassured that
She is joY
And I believed she sat silently singing her own melody
Wanting to be happy because i
Wanted to be right next to her holding her hand
Reassuring she is love

And I believed her joy was love
And to love was her joy
And to me she was both
And I put those away into my art box
Where each feeling lies
Untouched by anyone else
Unlocked only be those who have pieces within it
And it was unlatched by the feeling you left within
Me when we were reunited…

Because of you
You became my protector of shattered dreams
You became my warrior princess
Enraged with the will of my
Manangs before me
Empowered by the Filipina huntresses before me
You took your bow made of everlasting joy
And arrow of unconditional Love
And shot at me
Unlocking the undeniable within me
And I want you to know that
In my heart you are my queen
You are the vision of every dream repeated night
After night
That shows me that I wanted you as mine
You are the answer to each question my heart left
Unanswered ever since we met
You are the unexpected smile
That fought my beasts of fear away…
You are the one who said “hello” to make my
Day best of all

You who is my treasure that I treasured eternally
And you who Is my warrior princess
You who no one will ever come closest
To what I feel
In your overwhelming presence
That instant my eyes draped themselves onto you
My body re-lives the story
I wrote about you and me
Re-live the conflicts and climax
But will never live a resolution that has not been tendered
Because we still need to tend to be us
I don’t want a story of the fairy tale make up
Because I’d only Make up fantasy fictional surreal
And I want the real
The real ending
Cuz I know deep within that no matter what
I need you
I’m not saying you’re a necessity
I’m not saying you just another person in my hit list
You are the realist of all
And within the real list of #1 top first is YOU
You who I long to look for every
Beautiful night
You who I want to reach out my hand to
So you can carry me on your escapades from
Star to star portraying to me how your angel sistas live
Where your Mother-sun burns through my eyes
Foreseeing what’s in my mind
Explaining to you how I feel
Explaining why I am like this
So I close my eyes and a rainbow flies
Flies over my eyelids
I open them…and standing in front of me
My words slip slowly off my lips…starring…
Look this is what you did
My warrior princess

Then my knees start to crumble
And I’m gazing up at you
Your sun over cloaks us
And at that very moment
We smile and let it all go…