i will hate you...

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

A little Present For You

i wipe the dust off this notebook where i willinginly wrote the words of my hearthoping one day, one day you could look back on them and smilecuz i never...i never got to thank you!stuck here in the carnival we played in... i didnt go a day passing monumental peaks that offset my lifei didnt see it comingbut i knew i was strong enough to hold on to thoseslideshow scenes that replay everydayso let me take off the top of the shoeboxthe shoebox of memories that are only filled halfwayi never really got to finish doing you....or i mean doing the things we liked to do.see you were so obvious in the beginningtrying to stay low PROFILEbut couldnt hide it from meso let me finally tell you my real post secretsee, i already knew you liked or thought i was "cute" before you told mei just wanted to hear you say it in my ear!!!because i am that GOODman i dont ever want to forget the era of my lifewhen you were permantly etched in the corner of my periphsor slighly looking into my eyes through that damn rear view mirrorand i can say you werent a figment of my imaginationi am not sad but just happy that we lived through these momentsand i dont regret a single night we spent in ourlast escapade in LA"hypebeasting" our way through the day because no matter whatsomeone would always see us togetherand everytime you did that Booty Pop in front of Jennalyni wish i could of pushed you against that jamba juice glass windowand do the shit i said i would PROVE!!and i can go on and onbut let me go back and close this SB box of memoriesand get personal...close your eyes and let me rendevous to you...look at the same stars and hope you can hearmy voice echoe through your soulletting each vocal harmonize with the beat of your bodyreminding you that i am still a piece of your heart...With you halfway across the worldim wandering through the haven we entouraged inand i cant help but fram more than just a "centerpiece"but indugle in something more in needsomething more than an apologyand something more than an I Love You...and if i could ever explain what i wanted to say..these fumbled put together words called a poemwould never amount to what i want to say to youmy life never fell apartmy smile never went dullso just let me start over and say it all a little more simplerall of this was a mere effortbecause you were my epitome of joyand you were that god given essence that believed its not in our handsyou showed me that difference between true and realand for that i thank you..and its all "Because Of You"

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

To Whom It May Concern

to whom it may concern,
see i cant wait till you close the door
drop your bags, step into your room
and slip out of your silhoutte into something a little more velumptous!
no matter it be your victoria secret undies or maybe
just your BIG ass T shirt you know the T the covers your body
with your legs stretching out
teasing me boggling my mind with whats under that shirt!
but daymn...i cant say that yet
well i do...when i practice in front of my mirror
reciting lines that i think could get me my future wife
you see..im just a mad waiting in love dude trying to create a miracle
cuz this..this right here..
is for the person i dont even know yet
this if for the person i want to fall in love with
and this person doesnt know me yet...
and im at a major disadvantage to many
its become so simple for some to sweep a lady of her feet..
let see...
how about those guys who pick up the guitar and sing sweet serenades
that get all the firls going ooooOOooOOOOoo WEeEEEE!!!
MAN im so jealous!
so please stop embarassing me when you get on stage before or after me
cuz its going to happen...
but you know what...you know what??!!!
im coming prepared this time for you...person i dont know yet..
im taking piano lessons at school just for you...just for YOU!
so maybe i could get the glimpse of attention that i hope
could rile your heart into a simple submission,
second thinking if that guy..trying with all his ambition
can have permission to place his lips on her most
sacred..sweetest...sexiest..god given invention
her lips......you chose which ones...
please forgive me i may be coming off to strong
but i gotta stand out because even if i wear bright
HYPEBEASTING colors.. your eyes wouldnt be triggered...
because when we meet i will feel so bad for you
dont mind me..you will be so soft and easy on the eyes..
and i cant imagine what I will look like..
i dont want to hurt you already
but i hope i hope you see that i will hella love you
we dont have to do anything
cuz i picture it a cold winter day sun rays peeking through the scattered clouds
the trees swaying with the voices of the wind..hopefully on my side..
whispering in your ear..hey...hey..this is the man who will love you...yes!!!
but seriously..i wont give you the world.but ill share it
i wont give you all of me cuz i need to save room for you
i wont promise you ill never make you cry
cuz so much better things come when the storm finally resides
i wont hold your hand too tight
so sometimes i could slighly slip it into your back pocket!
and i wont promise you to always catch you when you fall
then there would be no point..there would be no point to ever make you smile again
you see they say its simple when you fall in love
i dont want it to be simple..it would be to easy
and you wont be simple you will be mine
you will be happy when you finally hear this love struck ensemble
so to you person i dont even know yet.
i love you..and someday i hope you can love me too...
sincerely....me....

Sunday, April 08, 2007

my poetry

Differences lie solely between our mind and feet

Our soul has yet to be induced with inspirations from afar

But as time evolved, our differences became clear

Echoes had no resonating effect

It was as bold as if you were whispering in my ear sweet syllables of songs

You spoke to me through inclinations

I couldn’t climb alone

Your voice drove my soul into a bursting flame

If I could I would grasp your hand

Let you feel my warmth

Because this is what you’ve done to me

You ignited a flame so great that only

You can feed

It was all due to your being, your writing

If I could give you this pen in my hand

You would transcend into dreams you wish you had

With me

Because you know our dreams will come true

Through destiny

And tomorrow would be a mistake

If you weren’t by my side walking

I only stand for who you are to me

Take a step with me and together

We’ll discover untouched memories that will live on

But if your memory were to cease

I would spend each day

Reminding you of the story of you and me

I would let my voice carry years of happiness and sadness

Through your ears

You’ll always remember this

There is always someone to live for

Through patience you’ll see what you want

Through yourself you’ll find what you need

I’m here down on my knees with you

Differences lie solely between us

But respect intertwines us

Pages of poetry have no effect if your heart is empty

Let me dab my life into yours and paint

Red, purple, blue and yellow skies

To articulate for you the endless possibilities of words that will inspire your mind

Let me take melodies and beats

Mend them together to create food for your soul

Let me grab your heart infect it with my motivations

So you can live again

If together we speak

Our words will amplify our voices

You’ll stand for yourself

Because you know I could do this for you

And if ever you were to crumble

My cut hands will do it all again for you

My being will be poured into you

You will be molded by your soul

You implemented into me

Because that’s who I am

That’s who you are to me

I would not go back home to my family

I’ve got my own

Because to me you are my home

You are that little girl that stood with steel fists

Breaking down barriers with a flick of your wrists

You are that little girl whose voice intensifies as you speak

You are the girl with eyes engulfed in beauty

And if I could find the difference I have grown to be…

I would say

She is my difference

Because I write for her…my poetry…

sister slavery

She digs her fingernails into her skin

Swallows her pride

And cries her own dignity

Remember…

Remember my sister pinays

Walked along the pearl sand beaches of the homelands together

Remember my sister pinays weaved the winds of her kin together from day to night

Remember my sister pinays built beautiful temples from the golden diamonds in their chests

Remember my sister pinays had silhouettes of angels of the purist form

Remember my sister pinays, my sister pinays

Were women huntresses…

You were warrior princesses

You were Filipina queens

My sister pinays your beauty is our innocence, its our essence…

But now, your cries bellow underneath the darkest corridors

Slammed against by tormented fists to the head

A slap on the face to us

For the price of YOU and your bridal dress

This modern day slavery

Mail-order me blasphemy

Denigrates your beauty…

Your darkness, black bruises, has now infected your body

And now I cant even see your sun-golden skin

Cuz of men who can keep their dicks on check!

Egos bringing of un-satisfaction, jealousy, insecurities…

With their pathetic lives cuz they think they can steal some sweet Asian pussy

But see, pussy digs deeper than that

Innocence digs deeper than that

Pride digs deeper than that

Beauty digs deeper than that

Dignity digs deeper than that

Love digs deeper than that

But the only thing digging deeper INTO my sister pinays

Are samurai swords taking their lives

Wooden maces thrashing their thighs

Gunshots through their beautiful brown eyes

And the very thought of you crumbling under someone’s

Knees makes me think what happened to my Filipina queens…

See you used to stand so tall

Emulating the presence of the sun

You used to lay elegantly along the wilted grass under the

Prosperous mango trees…

But now your families are

Given some lame ass excuse

For rape of their innocence laying

On their front Porch

Knock knock!

Body bag…

Your daughter died of an unknown disease…

Knock knock!

Body bag…

Your daughter fell ill to a sickness across the seas

Knock knock!

Body bag

Your sister pinay sold herself to an egotistic guy

Who Beat her and Beat her and BEAT her

Until she died…

And now I can’t stop crying

Cuz these bags cause bags under our eyes

Because my sister pinays are dying inside…

All over the world my sisters are exploited

Through this sick slavery...

This maniacal aspect denigrates their souls…

But if we can remember her stories…

Then maybe..maybe we can resist this struggle…

when your sad read this

''When your sad…read this…''

Hey!

Can I ask you all a question?

So in a relationship

How many of you have been love..love or want to love?

Well how does it feel?

Do you think you can fall in love more than once?

Well I thought I fell in love TWICE..::skjtwicesjd::

Daymn that’s to much lovin

And you know what

I now believe that my past wasn’t love

But it felt so real

Or did I feel surreal?

I once thought love was the unbearable happiness and pain of the heart

That simple pinch of a thousand needles bleeding the heart

I thought love was the unending joy between two companions

Throughout life…

I thought love was UnConditional!

I HATE unconditional

Mayn FUK unconditional

I don’t want to be korny but

How many of you people love hearing what you want to hear

For example..

Babeee…babez..

I miss YOU

I miss you TOO

EVEN THO I JUST DROPPED YOU OFF like 5 MINS AGO!!!

5 MINS AGO!!

And you miss ME?!

Is that LOVE?!?!!

How about

I haven’t seen you in so long..

You’ve been on my mind every second every minute

Every hour

Daymn why you gotta break it down like that

Why cant u just say I though of you everyday but

I think I would kinda SCARE you if you knew how many times a day I did

OOOOOHHH!!

One of my favorites when a person is on your mind for a bit

Babee….wait wait..already used that

Gotta throw in the fruit flavored topping special name!

Honey Bunches Of Caramel

Strawberry Sweet Cakes

With a Cherry On Top!

You were the last thing I though of before I went to sleep

Last night

And the first think I thought of when I woke up this morning

ooooOOh

heart melting

tears come from my heart

YOUR SO SWEET!

WOW!!!

Who fall for that still!!

Raise your hands you know you little

People online talking all mushy

Trying to spit game on myspace

Looking for the right line

From quotes of love

You try to memorize

You know you have hidden documents with all these sweet lovable quotes

Somewhere

Don’t lie! You know you do..or DID

Mine used to be 5 pages long!

And I used about half of them

And you know where that GOT ME

It GOT ME RIGHT HERE!

All ALONE UP HERE

ALONE wondering if these expressions

Emotions meanings messages

Knowledge writings

Foreshadows

Had the real definition within love?

Was love just a jist of all of this?

I thought love was when you were together you couldn’t be apart?

I thought my heart exploded everytime we said goodbye

And everytime we said hello

I thought the stars would shine upon us when the moon was to weak

I thought promises would be forever

But what last forever than real love

Or is it love that I feel now?

Or is it something else?

Something greater or just something that started it all?

Well what starts love?

…to like…

what brings more happiness..

to love or to like?...

Id rather like someone

Than rupture another scar into my heart again

I don’t want no leather face HEART

You know freakin all chainsawed and shit…

I don’t want to be putting up a front with my heart

Rippin faces and put it upon myself…

Id rather like someone…

Just imagine

Think of that time when you found out you started to like someone…

How did that feel?

That first time you felt that tiny little spark…

That bite size little spark…

Everytime we are together

Im not obligated to feel apart!

My heart doest explode it breathes correctly

For once in long time it breathes correctly!

I thought love was everything

I thought love was to give the world to someone

But to give the world is too much beyond my own hands!

Plus who the hell wants the world ANYWAYS

Shits all fuked up!

Or would you rather like someone and give them time

To say hello every now and then

Even though you don’t know if they like you or not

You take the RISK

Cuz there is not much on the line as compared to love!

So my perspectives changed

How come I don’t feel that love I felt before?

Was it all infatuation?

Becuz now It just feels even more right

Than ever before

How come my skinny

Big headed really burnt brown

Dirty finger nails

Car loving word spoken

Pen passionate inspired little boy

Attracted

A bite size

Body slammin punch

Little feet

Maniac switch

Indescribable unending talkative

Dedicated will

Beautiful

BEAUTIFUL

Little girl as you

Yes I said it

You are Beautiful

Have you ever been called beautiful

Cuz everyone says its so sweet

I wanna be called beautiful

But with my loser ass up here

You can call me anything you want cuz I cant hear YOU!

So listen up

Remember your most memorable kiss

And compare it to this

X marks the spot on my cheek

Follow the path from her lips to my face

And land the treasure

Cuz that is my Most GANGSTAR

Most favoritist

Ever so sweet

Perfect kiss…

And I am to tell you

That all this I said is just gibberish

Cuz I only tried to explain to you how I feel

I TRIED

But

All I really wanted to say is

I’m in Like with you….

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

evo VIII

EVO VIII

HKS Racing Suction Intake
HKS 272s Cams
HKS Cam Gears
JIC Equal Length Manifold
JIC Downpipe
JIC Cat Back
JIC FTLA-2 Coilovers
JIC 18x9.5 wheels
GReddy Electronic Boost Controller
GReddy Head Gasket
Exedy Stage 2 Clutch
Exedy Flywheel
Tanabe Front Brace
Tanabe Rear Brace
Tanabe Sway bars
Techna nuts
Seibon VSII Hood
Seibon Trunk
APR F1 CF mirrors
APR Front CF Canards
Agency Power Short Shifter
Polished head chambers
Ported o2 Turbo housing
Sparco Harness Bar
Sparco Harness
Walboro Fuel Pump
760 cc Injectors
Do-Luck Style Front Lip
Test pipe
MR Vortex Generator

vectornracing: ok
vectornracing: Walbro fuel pump
vectornracing: 760 cc injectors
vectornracing: greddy electronic boost controler
vectornracing: hks cams
vectornracing: hks cam gears
vectornracing: polished chambers
vectornracing: jic equal length manifold
vectornracing: hks racing suction
vectornracing: amsoil race oil
vectornracing: greddy head gasket
vectornracing: exedy stage 2 clutch
vectornracing: exedy flywheel
vectornracing: new transfer case
vectornracing: new transmission
vectornracing: agency power shorth throw shifter
vectornracing: tanabe front brace
vectornracing: tanabe rear brace
vectornracing: tnabe sway
vectornracing: jic custom flt a2
vectornracing: new lower control arms
vectornracing: new front pads
vectornracing: jic wheels
vectornracing: techna nuts
vectornracing: seibon hood
vectornracing: seibon trunk
vectornracing: mitsu vortex generator
vectornracing: apr mirrors
vectornracing: apr canards
vectornracing: aparco harness bar
vectornracing: sparco harness
vectornracing: you there?
neo G ene Tik: yeah
neo G ene Tik: scary
vectornracing: so now YOU REALLY FUCKING THINK THERE IS ANYTHING ELSE THAT CAR NEEDS
neo G ene Tik: yeah
neo G ene Tik: your missing the most important part
neo G ene Tik: BLOW OFF VALVE DOO NEED TO MAKE IT SOUND FAST! DOO!
vectornracing: DIE
vectornracing: DIE
neo G ene Tik: WHAT DOO!! where da blow off valve doo
neo G ene Tik: thats it?
neo G ene Tik: thats not even alot
vectornracing: OH my god
vectornracing: I hate you
neo G ene Tik: cool
neo G ene Tik: so tomorrow night?
vectornracing: ok
vectornracing: again
vectornracing: tomorrow or thursday
vectornracing: you wanna ask me again
vectornracing: please
vectornracing: do
vectornracing: oh I missed
vectornracing: Jic down ppipe
vectornracing: jic exhaust
vectornracing: test pipe
neo G ene Tik: was the turbo ported out or the housing?
vectornracing: housing

vectornracing: ok
vectornracing: Walbro fuel pump
vectornracing: 760 cc injectors
vectornracing: greddy electronic boost controler
vectornracing: hks cams
vectornracing: hks cam gears
vectornracing: polished chambers
vectornracing: jic equal length manifold
vectornracing: hks racing suction
vectornracing: amsoil race oil
vectornracing: greddy head gasket
vectornracing: exedy stage 2 clutch
vectornracing: exedy flywheel
vectornracing: new transfer case
vectornracing: new transmission
vectornracing: agency power shorth throw shifter
vectornracing: tanabe front brace
vectornracing: tanabe rear brace
vectornracing: tnabe sway
vectornracing: jic custom flt a2
vectornracing: new lower control arms
vectornracing: new front pads
vectornracing: jic wheels
vectornracing: techna nuts
vectornracing: seibon hood
vectornracing: seibon trunk
vectornracing: mitsu vortex generator
vectornracing: apr mirrors
vectornracing: apr canards
vectornracing: aparco harness bar
vectornracing: sparco harness
vectornracing: you there?
neo G ene Tik: yeah
neo G ene Tik: scary
vectornracing: so now YOU REALLY FUCKING THINK THERE IS ANYTHING ELSE THAT CAR NEEDS
neo G ene Tik: yeah
neo G ene Tik: your missing the most important part
neo G ene Tik: BLOW OFF VALVE DOO NEED TO MAKE IT SOUND FAST! DOO!
vectornracing: DIE
vectornracing: DIE
neo G ene Tik: WHAT DOO!! where da blow off valve doo
neo G ene Tik: thats it?
neo G ene Tik: thats not even alot
vectornracing: OH my god
vectornracing: I hate you
neo G ene Tik: cool
neo G ene Tik: so tomorrow night?
vectornracing: ok
vectornracing: again
vectornracing: tomorrow or thursday
vectornracing: you wanna ask me again
vectornracing: please
vectornracing: do
vectornracing: oh I missed
vectornracing: Jic down ppipe
vectornracing: jic exhaust
vectornracing: test pipe
neo G ene Tik: was the turbo ported out or the housing?
vectornracing: housing

Thursday, July 13, 2006

you read this too
i know you do
so read it

Saturday, May 06, 2006

im sorry i dont have the energy to write at all
but this last day i spent the entire day with ibarra
we did alot and had fun alot
and the night ended at marielle birthday party
met new people
has some fun at tag
but the personal update will come soon

Friday, April 28, 2006

i was readin through my old xangas
and it felt as it was almost just a couple weeks ago everything happened
i could relive each moment
feel the emotion the people and the presence
it was understandable and also embarassing

im listening to the used right now
and im still not happy with what im doing
i thought i would be able to manage friends
but its hard because i just dont want to upset so many and feel like im hanging out with them because i dont see them
because i want to be with her because i dont have much time with her yanno
but then
the thing is...
with the friends i know
they cannot be mended together in anyways
there all on way different sides of their own spectrum
and i see no connection at all through them..
and where does that leave me

what kind of person am i?
does that mean there are so many different parts of me
that i cant even choose to be who i really am which is all of them...
i cant put it all together..i canot mend them together
and i know i would be satisfied if i would
but ill see whats happening...

im listening to the used...
great band..great music
great memories
good bye