"stand right there"

“stand right there”
by [edge] & [eyes]

[edge]
stand right there…
go about and contemplate why you are standing in front of me.
speaking to the aura around you
but still silence over comes my tongue
and i am mute.
my tongue entwines itself in agony becuz
i cant seem to find the lyrical lessons that taught me
my vocabulary…
made me blind to see a celestial entity
that confides in a physical angelic body..
standing in front of me…
tryin to unwind
my mind from its twisted dilemma
but i cant
so i stop and just look at you
standing right there…

[eyes]
it’s on the tip of my twisted tongue
the things i meant to say to you
if you could just wait a minute…
would wait a second
don’t leave yet
wait for the moment you catch my gaze…
even though i have been blinded by your aura
my blind eyes can still see you
the curves of your lips mesmerized me
as i keep imagining them speaking to me
tell me something
tell me something please!


TO WELLA!
eye contact
erase my words meant to be spoken.
becuz your presence has already tangled my mind to think intangible thoughts
creeping up the side of my mind closing my eyes
capturing yours...
creating tear drops…that
craft endless ripples of rhetoric that exploit my infatuation
that awaits to be unleashed into your life for satisfaction...
just for you to smile...
smile so i can paint my emotions onto a fresh canvas
where i can see you day and night..
where i can see you all the time
other than in my mind…
where my expressions can flourish
and through the strokes of my paintbrush
i can mimic the emotions that i desire to paint
to paint the invisible world that i see myself in with you
to paint the endless dreams that i created with you
to paint me and you…
but still you stand there…

oblivious to the crazy thoughts
running a maze through my brainwaves
twisted among the things i know i can and can’t do
wrapped around the reality that i am forced to live in
when i see you
…standing there
the things i wanted to say
contradict all the reality you are to me
that i’m forced to live by
the things i know can’t be said
in them i find all that’s been haunting the world inside of me
they release everything that keeps my tongue twisted
my words have now become
useless ghosts constantly haunting me
in a world that only exists in my brain
only there have i been able to express what it is
that even i can’t explain
while i stand here

and you stand right there
surrounding sounds suppress my lips to be soldered
muting my voice from being allowed to utter out one simple word..
but still
in eloquence your fingers sway
in confidence
so relaxed so subtle
nothing around you is broken…
and silence is jealous of the musical notation
that you implement into your elegant words spoken…
and still my voice is locked behind my lips…
in anticipation of freedom before my oppressed heart
is set free to seduce your silhouette with
eloquent beautifulness…
exquisite gorgeousness...
admiring adorableness...
but you still stand there in loneliness

i should probably just close my eyes
so that the sight of you doesn’t make me lose all i’ve meant to say
the thought of your loneliness upsets me even more
knowing that i can be your one necessary solution
either way
i’m still here left speechless
still searching for the words that must escape from my lips
trapped within my mouth filled with fear
worried that following my utters and stutters
you have the power to deny my very existence
as you walk away it will echo the breaking of my heart
with each step you take
leads me a step closer to heartache
and i’ll still be standing here with my twisted tongue
still so twisted

and you still stand there
reflection of your affection
is replicated and reproduced into the songs
of the sun and the moon
the stars and galaxies
which reminds me
of the infinities and possibilities that lie
in your eyes…
that lie in the touch of your hand…
which believes me to understand
that the harder i try i can...
i can get to you…
even though your are the center of attention
they don’t know you like i do...
they don’t see the sweet skin softly singing songs of supernovas
with the curve separation of your lips beautiful is reborn with a new connotation...
implicated into poetry
my undying emotions are associated
with the rebirths and redos
but there is no undos
if i get to finally meet you
if i get the strength and will together…
even if it takes forever…
not eternity will stop me
just waiting for the right time…
to say
hi.
i’m in like.
with you
but truth got the best of me…
i am obsolete
now i am in fear…
and now i cry with miserable tears…
becuz you still stand
right there…

why aren’t you standing next to me…?
i can’t keep relying on deja vu
to take me back to moments with you
to constantly keep bringing you back to me
you’re just another face
in a sea of so many people
but i’ve drowned in thought just looking for you
your name is my taboo
the manifestation of all i can’t touch
if only i could say something to you!
but with this twisted tongue
my words slip in the wrong direction
i’m left searching for them
any definition could do you no justice
no dictionary could possibly encompass any words to describe you
i can find no words
to fit the picture perfect moments that you are to me
just stand right there -
the mere thought of your presence
leaves me walking in a subconscious dream
where you did more than just take my breath away
and i can’t recover in time to tell you
that i’ve found my favorite reality lies within the world only known to myself
where you have not stepped foot in
comparable to the intangible galaxies
where you sing your songs of supernovas
left me with words i can’t speak
with a voice that has no sound
locked behind lips that will not open
and with my twisted tongue
i stand here
as you still stand…
right there…

standing there
seems like eternity has grappled my heart and
sucked my thoughts
leaving teardrops of speechless words wanting to speak
stunning verbs
to you…
so i take a step closer to see you..

and with just one step closer to you
in just a glance
almost like a moment i was gasping for breath
i see something totally unexpected
i can see the fear residing in your eyes
one step closer to you standing there…
although my words are still lost
in a sea of “sweet nothings” i can’t whisper to you
closer to you standing right there…

another step taken
its my chance to be open
its my opportunity
let go of all my worries
erase all my curiosities…
its time to see if i am ready..

one step closer
the door has been opened
behind it i see an opportunity
testing me - am i ready??
suddenly searching for the words is no longer an option…
my twisted tongue will have to do
i’m just too close to you now…
standing right there

i’m right here can you see me?

you've caught my eye for the past eternity

and i just wanted to say something to you for so long

i've just been scared of it sounding so wrong

and now my lips begin to break open and try to find the words to say to you

my tongue is no longer twisted when I look at you

and with one final conclusion i created my ultimatum

that this equation must end with you as its final sum

and my words are now complete

my thoughts are now obsolete – i am given the chance to speak

because it’s been a long time

and I’ve tried to split ever possible second

just to stand right here in front of you and say

hi.

she

I once believed that she was a figment
In my imagination that painted onto a canvas
My emotions
I once believed she was this abstract swirl of fire
That lit my soul of sensation
I once believed she was the sun of the many suns
Around that never left me alone
I once believe in belief
Belief of the small things that made more
Of a concrete memory

I believed in she
She who took years of dedication and made it
Her future
She who bleed tears from broken pieces of a mended heart
So strive for a love that meant so much more
She who smiles under heavens night light
Emerging from the deepest forms of hope just for me
To be happy
She who took this razor bladed tongue
And slowly sharpened it
Slowly saved it
She who out of the brightest days and the bleeding
Nights…took my hand and reassured that
She is joY
And I believed she sat silently singing her own melody
Wanting to be happy because i
Wanted to be right next to her holding her hand
Reassuring she is love

And I believed her joy was love
And to love was her joy
And to me she was both
And I put those away into my art box
Where each feeling lies
Untouched by anyone else
Unlocked only be those who have pieces within it
And it was unlatched by the feeling you left within
Me when we were reunited…

Because of you
You became my protector of shattered dreams
You became my warrior princess
Enraged with the will of my
Manangs before me
Empowered by the Filipina huntresses before me
You took your bow made of everlasting joy
And arrow of unconditional Love
And shot at me
Unlocking the undeniable within me
And I want you to know that
In my heart you are my queen
You are the vision of every dream repeated night
After night
That shows me that I wanted you as mine
You are the answer to each question my heart left
Unanswered ever since we met
You are the unexpected smile
That fought my beasts of fear away…
You are the one who said “hello” to make my
Day best of all

You who is my treasure that I treasured eternally
And you who Is my warrior princess
You who no one will ever come closest
To what I feel
In your overwhelming presence
That instant my eyes draped themselves onto you
My body re-lives the story
I wrote about you and me
Re-live the conflicts and climax
But will never live a resolution that has not been tendered
Because we still need to tend to be us
I don’t want a story of the fairy tale make up
Because I’d only Make up fantasy fictional surreal
And I want the real
The real ending
Cuz I know deep within that no matter what
I need you
I’m not saying you’re a necessity
I’m not saying you just another person in my hit list
You are the realist of all
And within the real list of #1 top first is YOU
You who I long to look for every
Beautiful night
You who I want to reach out my hand to
So you can carry me on your escapades from
Star to star portraying to me how your angel sistas live
Where your Mother-sun burns through my eyes
Foreseeing what’s in my mind
Explaining to you how I feel
Explaining why I am like this
So I close my eyes and a rainbow flies
Flies over my eyelids
I open them…and standing in front of me
My words slip slowly off my lips…starring…
Look this is what you did
My warrior princess

Then my knees start to crumble
And I’m gazing up at you
Your sun over cloaks us
And at that very moment
We smile and let it all go…

"Untitled Eyes 2"

"UNTITLED EYES 2"

the beat melody tickles my ears and calms my heart
which pounds eratically as i hear the lyrics
being expressed through half-second breaths
lettin all feelings out
wishing that i can do th is but
everytime i try i collapse and fall
then the never ending dream haunts me
the dream where perfection meets imperfection
but everytime its just an impression in my dreams
it seems it has gotten the best of me
because everytime my eyes close and
enter the state of serentity
my heart rejoices in simplicity that ends
with the simple hint of reality
add the fact that i am lonely
and you have the solution that this i am feeling
is my weakest emotion
i swear my dreams were real
but even tho they were so surreal i can grasp
the thought that what i am to you
is nothing but a love strucken fool
still writing about how much i miss you
my heart cries the unspoken words that you cannot hear because all you hear is noise
coming from my voice but if you tooke time to listen
and see what i was sayin is my heart is cryin
i am cryin inside
where a utopian dream flies above the clouds with me stuck to the ground
because i cant let go what i found
deep inside my heart...
thr truth that we must be apart but in my dreams
i see your face in a place of happiness
that will last forever
because its the only place
i see you and i together.......

"Untitled Eyes"

"UNTITLED EYES"

looking into the abyss of blue light
i see one thing at the end of this telescope
the star that shines so brightly above me
whcih reminds me of the times of you and me
just memories
the distance from me to that star
is where my heart is from yours
but in my dreams the rain has faded
and i feel no pain
the pain has subsided from the clouds
through the prayer i say
every twilight night
becuz i miss the eyes i looked into from time to time
and saying to them i love you
but now all i can say is how are you?
this melody plays in my head over and over
a never ending scylce..never broken
because my love for you has formed my heart into a circle
never ending..always recycling over and over
night after night i lay and write why i cant let go
why i cant fly further then destined beczu the love we had you had forgotten
i cant believe youve struck me with a presence that haunts me
i see you in my dreams the only place where everything is serene
everything is normal and supernatural
but i wake up to reality to realize i was in a blind dream caused by popped bullbled memories in my brain exploding everytijme i see you in my mind.
which shocks my nerves and stimulates my hands to mimic my emotions that have no notion
of intending to satisy your love motions
but everytime i try to get closer to you
the sun hides and cloaks us with darkness
preventing me to let out my feelings
returning me back to the end of the blue abyss of ligh
leaving nothin to try but to wait and create
this so called dream that consists of you and me
and all over again you as my friend
over and over
a chain reaction of supernovas over and over
rebirth to the change i see whenever i see you and me but please notice me
i am not invisible i am just not stable when it comes to keeping my heart
within the bone-shelled cage it lies in
where time dies and eternity is multiplied becuz destiny has immbolized and left me to perish w/o a frienship
w/o a companionship
but left me with consequence
consequences that torment my sould makin my weaknesses that can be sensitive to the simple touch of your hand
but i still dont understand
the equation that has led me to believe that the solution for this problem is re-evolution of our emotions
separating our lives
not being the same but change
what is visible to my blind eyes
chante the deprived heart from its support and give her more
before i go out and explore with a new heart
that will learn that my expierience was not a waste of time
it was just time for new eyes to see that i cant have her as mine
but still see her in my mind
everytime i dream..
everytime i think
of the one i miss
everytime i will be shot back to the light of blue abyss and everytime
my mind heart soul combine
i lose time to appreciate
the fine celestial angel
that lied in my eyes
leaving me with one last try
but i end up giving up in one last cry becuz to me she is divine
and all i can say is things change
and soemthing do fade away
and this is my apology
for you to see i am still me
so please forgive me im sorry
now you can go and ill be stuch in sweet misery becuz now i knoe
youre the reason you make me whole....

"3 syllables 3 words"

the tourniquets of your love
ehance my mind with tentacles of imagination creating my dream world

your in front of me
but not like in my dreams around me holdind me
and i want to tell you that i miss you
i wish that you would too
why cant i get over the issue that i still miss you

my tongue tumbles trageically trying to
exploit worts to explain how much i miss you
my eyes emancipated themselves from locked-barrelled surreal dreams
to they can see you

your so close to me
back turned i want just to wrap my arms around you
i dont want to let go of your hug because
this feeling inside never went away
its been dreaming dreams waiting for it to become reality
i need to stop dreaming in a dream world
because im not making any ground missing you in my mind

and if i had the chance i would say
you would make my life complete
but this is not another love piece to make you see
i love you
these are letters to you hinting i really miss you

typical themes embedded into this writing but these are my feelings put into words
and today you re-ignited the hidden fire within me
unlocked the chained feelings i stored away when i sank to the bottom
your presence not only invokes my mind with inspiration to write
but gives life to the dreams ive had might after night
but i cant have these anymore

i cant imagine what were supposed to be
because all i want at night before i sleep
it jsut you and me
my mind barracades itself from foreighn thoughts
erasing the present
replaying the past in forms of clips
replaying each memory onto my eyelids
giving me the ability to change what happened and what couldve happened

i want to enter each memory we had
re-live it in supernovas
re-live them over and over till it becomes reality once again
becuz im tired of telling
faded, blurred sand-polished images of you
that speak to me in silence
bahing no clue that im speaking the truth to you
the ive spent everynight tryin to erase you from my vocabulary
but nots its just another natural sense
right before i sleep your name is uttered out with other shit on my mind
and everytime its your name

the simple three sllyables glide of my lips
three years since i confessed my three word phrase
but only this feeling remains
i miss you..its tru
i do
deeply miss you

ok

well wassup again
i got beverly back..and i cant stop thinking about her..daymn she so daymn beautiful
and mayn she makes me so DAymn happy...
wow she is my one and only besides my mommy

well this past saturday i went to MK bash some davis filipino club formal
like sPS...but it was Phreakin fun as heck..the performances were tyte
the presentations
and the DANCE of all dances with my one and only GOLDA
oh GOLDA she so OH golda..
and all those other sexy jarmel AnnE and who kath..whoever BOO
and other ppl oh so sexy girls there oh well..not as sexy as my topless beverly
thats all i really did
jsut dance dance dance dance dance dance dance dance dance
i love it

sunday oh sunday
work missed out on PND...but yeah
i got home and you know what i went out with PAULY..and we went to jesska;s
and ate all her food..
then late as geoof finaly calls to pick his aASSSS up
then watched THE LAKERS LOSE YAEY!
crap..
daymnit
but its ok the rest of the day was gooD!
so after jeskkas me pauly and geoof dont know what to do..so we head to my house
get into beverly!!
go rent movies and go to BOOM BOOMS!! HEY!!

now this is the good part...were drivin topless in beverly
paul and geoff are on the passenger side
with another car on the starboard side as well
and i see this girl in the other car all movin around..
i know somethings gonna happen cuz i just knoe
then all of a sudden paul and geoof GO KRAZY kRAZY
and im like shiet...paul is in the way..
and i know what just happened.. BASTURDS GOT FLASSHED..lucky punks
ur lucky i was just escorting you to having fun
AHHH!!
i hate you
well yeah
then we got to boom boooms and chilled then watch phreakin
CLUB DREAD
oh shit do0de freakin the killer is krazy hardcore half-mayn
::touches your nose:: oh yeah you knoe you like that leaking turtle TOO!!

boooo

yeah thats it for now bye

BEVERLY!!!

is back!!!
ive missed her for so long...oh she so sexy.>!!

lost.

when your lost
what helps you guide you to the right path..or
do you start your own path without a guidline and have no one help you
along the way?
what about if you were on the right path..and a major incident just
freakin de-railed you and you havent found that tracks yet..
do you start from scratch.do you try to rebuild what you had before
or just push it away..and let it sit there and rust and just go away.

i dont know what to do..
i think i am really lost.
i need to find something...

uh....

yeah..it did feel like it
well mite as well just leave it now..

highlight of the day:
WON inCUBus tickets on KWOD..yes